And the winners for the Mother’s Day book giveaway are…..
Dear Mom — Michelle Smith
Mama’s Got a Fake ID — Renee
Enduring Justice — Shannan Powell
Congrats, ladies!
I’ll be sending you an email shortly so you can claim your prize. :)
I want to give Random House a big thank you for providing these books free of charge for these lucky and deserving moms!
It’s poetry day. Didn’t realize it’s been so long since I’ve posted, so I thought I’d put something up real quick. I was 16 when I wrote this. ***By the way, I still need to draw the winners from the Mother’s Day giveaway, so if you entered — stay tuned.***
don’t let him go
don’t let him do it, fall down
for his life is like the ocean
he’ll slip in the cracks
a balancing act on the wet, jagged rocks
on the beachfront, so enticing
—–
don’t let him go
don’t let him do it, refuse your hand
for his life is like the forest
a beautiful flower, buried
smothered by trees he chose as shelter
covered in fallen leaves and needles
—–
don’t let him go
don’t let him do it, go dark
be the moon, and shine upon him
guide him to the sand
illuminate that petal peeking through
help him see the way
—–
as new seasons surpass the old
water dries up and leaves decompose
take his hand and pick him up
lead him to the light of the moon
call upon the sun for warmth
and smile, as a change of season comes
The first week of May here in Northern California was so dreary. Rain and clouds and more rain. Finally, the sun came out and the girls and I got to spend some time outdoors. It was the perfect opportunity to try out our new Crayola Sidewalk Crayons, generously donated by Time to Play.
Time to Play is a wonderful resource for parents interested in finding out more about the toys available for their children. Moms and Dads can get information on the hottest toys of the season, read reviews of what’s new, and even ask the experts your toy-related questions.
Time to Play’s latest article features Top Toys for the Summer and Outdoors, and the girls and I had the privilege of reviewing the sidewalk crayons that were mentioned in that article. Isn’t the Mother’s Day drawing so appropriate?! :)
My girls LOVE to draw all over grandma and grandpa’s concrete patio with chalk, and they had such a blast with the Crayola brand chalk. They’re aptly called sidewalk “crayons” because of their shape. Instead of a stick of chalk with a blunt end, these are tapered to make drawing easier.
Here is a picture of the sidewalk crayons we used:
I’ve always been a big fan of Crayola’s products, and in fact, I have a pantry closet FILLED with Crayola art stuff — and now these great chalk crayons.
For other ideas for outdoor play this summer, be sure to visit Time to Play and take a look around at what their site has to offer. You can even check out their reviews and recommendations of outdoor play structures if you’re in the market to buy one for your backyard.
Summer is on its way, so be prepared with the safest and hottest toys, and have a blast playing with your children!
I’m so excited to celebrate Mother’s Day this year. As a newly single mom, the holiday will actually be a bit more special for me. My children have been great, showering me with love and affection over the last four months, and now it’s my turn to give a little back to the wonderful moms out there.
Random House has generously donated a set of these three books to me, and gave me an additional copy of each book to give away to three lucky readers. That’s right - I’m giving them away individually, so you can enter to win one, or all three! Give them away to your favorite mom, be it a best friend or sister, or keep them for yourself.
I’m currently reading “Mama’s Got a Fake I.D.” and loving it!! This is truly a book we all need — every mom I talk to admits to feeling as if they lose themselves after childbirth. It doesn’t have to be this way!! We are wonderful moms, but also wonderful WOMEN.
You want the book? Here’s what you do:
Read the book descriptions below and decide which book(s) you want to win…then follow the directions below and you’ll be entered. Good luck!!
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Dear Mom by Melody Carlson
Every mom knows how communicating with a teenage girl can be difficult, even impossible at times. One-word answers. Defensive conversations. Daily arguments. How typical for teens to put up such barriers. All the while, moms truly long to know what their daughters really think.
Best-selling author Melody Carlson, whose books for women, teens, and children have sold more than three million copies, bridges this chasm with trusted insight. She speaks frankly in the voice of the teen daughters she’s written for and she tells it like it is: struggles with identity, guys, friendship, and even parents—it’s all here. The straight-talk to moms covers such things as “I need you, but you can’t make me admit it,” “I’m not as confident as I appear,” and “I have friends. I need a mother.”
Instead of focusing on outward behaviors, Dear Mom looks at a young woman’s heart and reveals to moms:
The lively chapters in Dear Mom can be dipped into topically or used as a read-through tool by moms and daughters alike to understand what motivates or deflates, troubles or inspires—and just in time for Mother’s Day and all the Mother’s Days ahead.
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Mama’s God a Fake I.D. by Caryn Dahlstrand Rivedeneira
Formula for identity loss:
For every woman wondering what happened to the unique combination of gifts and abilities she was known for before kids came along, Caryn Dahlstrand Rivedeneira has good news: in Mama’s Got a Fake I.D., Rivedeneira helps moms reclaim their full identity as creative beings, gifted professionals and volunteers, loving friends, children of God—and mothers.
This inspiring and practical guide shows women how to break free from false guilt, learn a new language to express who they really are, and follow God’s lead in sharing their true self with others. After all, motherhood doesn’t have to mean losing one’s identity. Instead, being a mom makes it possible for a woman to discover a more complete identity as the person God made her to be.
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Enduring Justice by Amy Wallace
In Enduring Justice, Hanna Kessler’s childhood secret has remained buried for over two decades. But when the dark shadows of her past threaten to destroy those she loves, Hanna must face the summer that changed her life and the man who still haunts her thoughts.
Crimes Against Children FBI Agent, Michael Parker knows what it means to get knocked down. And when the system fails and a white supremacist is set free, Michael’s drive for retribution eclipses all else.
A racist’s well-planned assault forces Hanna and Michael to decide between executing vengeance and pursuing justice. When the attack turns personal, is healing still possible?
This thought-provoking novel deals with healing from sexual abuse, the balance of justice and mercy, and maintaining mixed-race friendships in the midst of racial tension. Readers who enjoy investigative thrillers by Dee Henderson, Colleen Coble, and Catherine Coulter, and who watch crime dramas like Law & Order: SVU, Criminal Minds, and Without a Trace will love this book—and the entire series.
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Ready to enter?
1) Leave me a SINGLE comment telling me which book(s) you want. That’s it!
Additional entries (can ONLY be used after you do the above):
2) Subscribe to my blog and leave an additional comment that you did so. Yes, I can tell if you subscribed or not. :)
3) Tweet the contest with the hashtag #cmjbooks4mom. One tweet per person please. I’ll keep in mind if you are entering for more than one book. While you’re at it, follow me! @dpenna (not required)
Bonus entry:
4) Write a post about this on your own blog and get 2 additional entries for each book you want to win.
I’m extending the deadline to enter to allow more entries…contest closes at 11:59pm Pacific, one week from today, May 13th.
Free books…what are you waiting for?! Remember, if you don’t win, you can always visit the online catalog at Random House and purchase any of the great books above directly from the publisher at a very reasonable price.
Yes, rent will be late for the first time in my life, but there will be no eviction. I suppose for a brief moment I was scared, and things looked gloomy…but they always brighten back up, and they have.
I’m so blessed that writing gigs are showing up when I need them the most, aaaaand, there is a small chance that in the very near future I’ll have some BIG news to share with you regarding my writing career.
I do have to say though, that I am still thinking of moving this summer. The apartment I’m in is pretty crappy, and depending on how my writing blossoms over the next few months, I may actually need more space, i.e. an office. We’ll see how it goes.
So…things are going relatively well right now, and I’m excited for the future. :)
My Andie Evangeline,
I can’t believe it’s been 9 years already, baby.
I love you.
Another poem from my recently discovered collection written in 10th grade. I was thinking this could actually apply to a few situations in my life currently…so that’s why I chose this poem for tonight.
open book
why don’t you listen
through your own little world
look past the words
and learn a little feeling
why can’t you hear me
in my locked up silence
fight through the fog
my direction, this way
do you know my heart
do you know my feelings
open the book and turn the pages
read, listen, and carefully watch
keep your eyes on me
desires to show you myself
come clean in our truths
why don’t you listen
my direction, this way
We all know the economy sucks right now, but I literally live in one of the worst counties in the nation, as far as unemployment goes.
According to an article in the Contra Costa Times two days ago:
Butte County’s unemployment rate in March was the 12th worst among the nation’s 372 metropolitan statistical areas, according to information released this week by the U.S. Department of Labor.
California’s metropolitan areas dominated the top of the jobless list, with eight of the top 10 and 12 of the top 20.
The Chico MSA, which includes all of Butte County, had an unemployment rate of 15.9 percent in March, according to the Labor Department’s Bureau of Labor Statistics.
When in court Friday for the child/spousal support hearing, the judge gave me permission to move the kids wherever I needed in order to find a job — and it looks like I actually may need to. Eviction is quite possibly around the corner, as the court order made Friday comes a few months too late. My bills are already so far behind and it’ll be another month or two before I see half of the money I was awarded.
So I have two questions on my mind right now.
Where should I go, and how much money can I save up through writing between now and when my lease is up at the end of July.
That’s assuming I don’t get evicted before then.
My ex bitched about how he’s not going to be able to live on what’s left after paying the court order, and while part of me feels bad he has to shell out 50% of his income each month, the other part of me wants to fucking punch him.
It’s a good thing I’m a nice person.
Seriously.
I think I’m making a huge mistake sometimes, trying to find love online. There’s just too much of “me” out here, on this blog, and it scares people. The problem is that if you stumble upon this blog and read an unsavory post about me, about my life, you as a reader have no context in which to put it in…unless you’ve been reading my blog for the last 4-5 years.
However, with wanting to date men online (who can easily find this site), I am putting them in a position of being able to judge me before they know me. Sure, I’ve got drama in my life. There are things though, that I have left unsaid on this blog for respect out of others — and in doing so, I’m failing to cast light on the entire situation at times.
I don’t feel that I should have to justify my entire life to someone I’ve only just met. I’m also not going to hold back on this blog, because the sole purpose of starting it was to keep my friends and family updated on what the girls and I were doing in our lives. I don’t lie, I don’t fake it, I don’t sugar coat it. But I do have reasons for the things that make me who I am, and sometimes I don’t paint the entire picture.
Yes, this blog is called “crazy mom’s” journal, and yes I openly talk about my history of depression, and yes this partially led to the breakdown of my marriage and led my husband to cheat on me, but that does not reflect who I am. I think it’s sad that some people want to assume that, without getting to know me, without asking me questions, without giving me the benefit of the doubt.
Let me make ONE thing clear right now:
My marriage did not end because I am “crazy.” It ended because I was sick. It ended because for years I had an undiagnosed medical condition (Crohn’s) that was exacerbating my undertreated depression. It ended because, while I was in pain emotionally and physically over the last year of our marriage, my husband backed away from me instead of trying to help me. It ended because he gave up on me and cheated. He sought comfort in someone else outside the marriage and hid that for months.
He is the one who watched me spiral downward from his pretty little perch with his high-clout job and 24yo girlfriend on the side. He is the one that made me feel like the disease, told everyone I was the disease and cause of the downfall. He is the one that hid lies and deception from Day 1; I only found out later he’s cheated on every person he’s ever been with. He is the one who refused counseling and instead slept with his mistress while I was in the hospital trying to heal one part of the equation — while the kids were being cared for by my parents — not their father.
So don’t judge me because my own depressive father who killed himself passed a gene onto me. Don’t judge me because my stomach surgery in 2001 left me with serious medical deficiencies, ultimately leading to a hospitalization and two blood transfusions a couple months ago. Don’t judge me because I’ve sought help. And most of all, don’t judge me because I’m (almost) divorced. My blog may say I’m “crazy,” but if you choose to apply that mental health stigma to me personally — you aren’t worth it.
My real friends on and offline know my heart, my thoughts, my past, my story.
I want you, too. Really, I do.
So please, to those of you who don’t know who I am, and are scared of what you see, don’t run. Get to know me. I told you — I won’t lie — but you do have to ask.
There are reasons I am me, just as there are reasons you are you.
Neither of us is perfect.
And, I am worth loving.
The one who figures that out wins.
I'm not crazy. My life is. If yours isn't, that's too bad. You can't have any fun in life without a little crazy.
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